In an announcement that is sure to throw the world's werewolf community into a panic, NASA announced that they've picked up the rumble of shrinkage from the Moon (I'll capitalize because it's never been given a proper name). It's an indication that the Moon isn't the dead rock we once thought it was but is actually capable of geological movement. They say the Moon has probably shrunk even since the time we went up there and then stopped going up there once we had golfed. Theories abound as to why this happened – Large Hadron Collider? That bomb we sent up there for no apparent reason? But it's important to note that it's not losing mass, just size. Pink Floyd could not be reached for comment concerning the possible de-contextualizing of their most popular album.

Follow John Moe at @johnmoe